Welcome to Week 4 of Clarify Your Calling! I’m so glad you are here! If you missed the other posts in this series you can find them here:
I tucked my legs beneath the wooden school desk and crossed my ankles as the teacher announced our grades in front of the entire class. I loved school, but something about this part made me squirm. Knowing I would get a good grade, but not the best grade made me question if I was really good enough.
Something inside me wanted to be the best. I wanted to hear, “Micah – 100%”.
I strived from my early elementary years to do my very best always looking for the A+ or 100% with a big bold smiley face at the top.
We all assembled at the end of the school year to acknowledge the smart kids. They announced the Honor Roll students, the Most Improved Students, and the ones who excelled in sports or leadership qualities. And then at the very end of every award ceremony they gave out the biggest award of all – the Teacher’s Award.
My heart was pounding, my little third grade hands were sweaty, and I could have burst into tears at the thought of winning or losing. The pressure was too big for my tiny body.
“And this year’s Teacher’s Award goes to….”
When the name was announced my shoulders dropped with a heavy exhale, and the voices in my head began.
“See, you didn’t do enough.”
“You’ll never be as good as her.”
“You’re not as smart as she is.”
“No matter how hard you try, you’ll never make it.”
“The teacher’s see something in her that you don’t have.”
All these years later, those voices still creep into my mind sometimes. They say things like:
“You’ll never succeed at this.”
“She does a way better job than you.”
“You don’t really know what you are doing.”
“Look at how easy it is for her.”
“No matter how hard you try, you’ll never catch up.”
So I sit back and evaluate my life and my calling. And a still small voice overrides all the “you can’t’s” and “you’re not good enough’s” with:
“I am with you.”
“You are enough with Me.”
“It’s not about the A+.”
“It’s not about the Teacher’s Award.”
“You just need to obey.”
“Trust Me, Micah.”
“Walk with Me.”
“I’ll lead you.”
“I’ll guide you.”
“I’m not into awards on this earth.”
“My rewards are eternal.”
“Man might never see, but I do.”
“Trust and obey.”
A wave of fresh grace and confidence washes over my soul and I remember my calling.
When I compare my calling, I question myself. When I surrender my calling, I am confident in Christ.
God didn’t call me to get a Teacher’s Award or be recognized by this world. God called me to obey His voice step by step, day by day.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” II Corinthians 12:9(ESV)
There might be days of victory with gold stickers, confetti, and trophies, but even it not, I’ll remember my God-given calling – surrender.
I am not called to get awards and recognition of man, I am called to walk with God.
When I walk with man, I am insecure in my worth. When I walk with God, I rest secure in His will and way.
If you tend to compare yourself with others always wanting the A+, it’s time to surrender the good grade for the God-given grace within your calling.
God will equip you for your calling. Don’t give up when you think no one notices and don’t give in to the voices that try to derail you. God is with you and that is enough. Clarity is waiting for you in the presence of Jesus Christ.
Surrender doesn’t mean I compromise my life. Surrender means Christ in me will fulfill my life.
Dear Heavenly Father,
As we sit back and evaluate our callings, help us see clearly. Help us know this world is not a place to seek rewards and recognition, but help us seek You and You alone. For in seeking, we know we will find. Help us rest in the confidence of your presence and help us surrender our souls to your security.
In Jesus Name,
Love & Blessings,