He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

by October 28, 2015

Here a boy, there a boy, everywhere I look, a boy. I remember too well the way my teenage crush would change by the day, hour and minute. I wanted to find “the one” and settle into a strong relationship, but my mind and opinion of guys would change more than once a day.

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At some point, I grew out of my fickle feelings of hopping carelessly from one crush to another and I passionately surrendered my heart to my sparkly blue-eyed sweetheart.

Much like my feelings of here a boy, there a boy, everywhere I look a boy, my feelings for God go up and down like a roller coaster too. Some days I want to get up early. I make big Bible reading goals and plan to spend quality time talking with God about my life and interceding for my friends who are hurting. Then there are other days. By the time I get out of bed and get moving I give God a high-five and expect Him to walk with me, bless me, take care of me and give me indescribable peace and wisdom. Oh, how fickle and foolish I can be.

The amazing part about my relationship with God is that He forgives me on my fickle days. He loves me when I don’t take time for Him. He cares for me when I am not the most caring. He gives me affection when I display a cold shoulder. When I don’t take time to listen, He waits for me to talk to Him. When I am ready to talk, He hears my prayers and in spite of my sin, He answers me. When I try to do everything myself and don’t depend on Him, He lovingly corrects me and guides me toward humility reminding me to surrender my heart to Him.

Rather than hopping through life with my pigtails swaying with every step, I want to grow up and grow out of a fickle relationship with God. I’m slowly learning the key to loving God is a passionately surrendered heart. Much like I had to grow up and learn how to focus my attention, affection, love and affirmation on one man in my life, I also have to learn to focus my entire heart, soul and mind on God.

If I could just be more disciplined, surrendered and obedient, I would not have foolish moments of regret and shame. Although I know the key to complete surrender, sometimes I make the wrong choice. My fickle feelings cause me to wrestle with what I know is right and I am faced with temptation, sin, and regret.

Here’s what I am thankful for today:

1. God loves me in spite of me and my sin.
2. God listens to me when I don’t listen.
3. God talks to me when I desperately need advice.
4. God draws me close to Him when I haven’t been the most obedient.

My relationship with God is truly the most amazing relationship I’ve ever had. Even though I fail and my feelings are fickle, He loves me. When He chose to love you and me, it was forever. I want to love Him like that.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has seen God at any time; if we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in Him and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. We have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us. I John 4:7-19(NASB)

Lord, help us to love you like you love us. Help us to grow up into your love.

Love & Blessings,

Micah

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About Micah Maddox

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  1. Wow, just what I needed to hear. As I grow closer to God I also have my good days and bad days in my relationship with Him. I thought I was the only one, like I wasn’t growing bc I couldn’t keep a steady kind of relationship going but I c now that learning to stay close all the time is part of the process of growing closer to God. I really needed to hear this tonight. I really liked what u said ab some days u just give God a high five and expect everything to be great bc I never really thought ab it like that before but that’s exactly what I do to. Expecting a maximum outcome from the most minimal of efforts. That’s not how it works and now that I c what I’ve been doing I know what I need to work on. Once again thank u for letting God work through you. I learn/realize something new and wonderful with every new post. Ur posts have really helped me a lot and always seem to come right when I need them the most.

    1. Jayna, I so thankful this was a help to you! Keep growing and seeking God with all your heart. He loves you so much and I can tell you desire a deep relationship with Him! Take it one day at a time.

  2. Beautiful, Micah! I love the line, “When He chose to love you and me, it was forever. I want to love Him like that.” Yes, I want to love Him like that! Blessings,friend!
    Lisa Murray

  3. Thank you for being real with us in your walk with God, because I completely relate! Somedays go as I hope and some days… just don’t. But there He is, loving us completely and perfectly through it all! Great post <3

  4. Micah, this is a lovely post, encouragement and challenged all wrapped up in one. It’s so wonderful to remember God’s unfailing love for us, even on our fickle days. Love joining you for #livefreeThursday today.

  5. Oh Micah, this is absolutely beautiful! In tears, because GIRL, you know right where I am! Praying that perfect prayer with you, “Lord, help us to love you like you love us. Help us to grow up into your love.” Just, YES & AMEN! #livefreeThursday

    1. Crystal, you are just precious. I’m so thankful you get me. Let’s just give God some praise! Overwhelmed by His love!! #livefreeThursday

  8. Today, I am thankful that God sent your post my way as a reminder. I have been absolutely wrestling with discipline and making time for one on ones with God. Admittedly, I’m not doing well. At all. Each night, I make up my mind to start the next day, to sit quietly and open my Bible and to pray, without following through. Constantly. But my desire to do so is still there, and oddly enough, I keep having reminders pop up here or there, like seeing your post! So, I know He is working in me, prodding me, and waiting patiently for me. I’m glad His patience and pursuance of us isn’t so fickle! Thanks again Micah. He definitely seems to be using your talents to reach others for Him. Your posts never cease to remind me that He is always working exactly where I need Him in my life and on the the things I struggle with the most.

    1. Amanda, take it one day, one verse, one prayer at a time. Make tiny little goals. When I struggle in this area, if I make little goals that are easy to reach I am much more likely to follow through. Some days all I read is one verse. If God speaks to me through that verse I let it resonate in my heart all day long. I pray when things come to mind throughout the day. Sometimes we have the idea that we have to have a big, drawn out ordained time in order for God’s Word to penetrate. There are times we definitely need that, but the majority of my days are small pieces of scripture that I carry with my throughout the day. I don’t always get it right and I definitely have my off days. Thanks so much for sharing your heart today! God loves you and if He’s prodding you, go ahead and follow.

  10. Happy to “meet” you at Lisha’s. I’m thankful that I know that He’s the One True Love for me. I’m thankful He woos me continually even when I’m fickle.

  11. Oh, boy does this sound familiar! I get this so much! I wrestle with the fickle feelings and long to love him as he loves me. Blessed to be your neighbor at Soul Survival.

  12. Hi
    I am following you from Still Saturday. Yes I have good days and bad ones – wanting to spend more time in His Word and getting trapped in social media and email. New focus. God first and foremost.
    Thanks for reminding me that He loves me as I try
    Blessings,
    Janis

    1. Social media and email can be the never ending vacuum that sucks time away quickly. It’s a great time to have a new focus. Thanks for stopping by, Janis.

  14. Incredible post, Micah!

    “My relationship with God is truly the most amazing relationship I’ve ever had.” <— This I wholeheartedly agree with. Oh, how HE loves and takes care of me!

    Thanks so much for sharing! GOD bless you, Love! :-)

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