Hope for the Depressed Woman: Week 2 – Breaking the Silence

by July 20, 2015

Welcome to Week 2 of Hope for the Depressed Woman. If you missed the first post of this series you can view it here – Week 1: Slow Down. Throughout this series I will share my personal experience with depression and the things I learned along the way. I don’t share this to glorify myself or to give medical or physical advice (I’m not a doctor or counselor), but I share from a deep place of my heart that once ached with feelings that I could not understand. God has freed me from depression and I hope sharing my personal experience will encourage you if you have struggled in this area of life.

Depression: Week 2 – BREAKING THE SILENCE

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13(ESV)

I looked in the mirror and did not even recognize the girl looking back at me. A girl who was once strong and confident was now insecure, anxious and felt completely trapped inside a haze of irrational thoughts, unmotivated days and sleepless nights. Fatigue, guilt and confusion filled the hours, minutes and seconds of my life.

Though the sun shined brightly outside, there seemed to be a thick, dark cloud that surrounded my body day after day. I wanted desperately to cut through it. If I could just take a giant step outside of the fog and escape from the clouds, then I could snap back into my normal routine. Everything normal seemed so far out of reach.

I sat at my kitchen table and stared out the sliding glass door. I could see the bird’s wings fluttering and the trees swaying in the breeze, but I felt like my life was on pause and everything in my world was moving on without me. I wanted to be in motion, but I couldn’t figure out how to get into the swing of normal. Gazing out the window was the place I found myself day after day. Exhausted, emotional and unsure where to turn.

No one really knew what I was going through. My baby girls saw me cry most days; but, other than that, I tucked my feelings as far away as I could from everyone I came in contact with.

After several weeks of the same routine of sitting at my kitchen table on pause, I finally broke the silence.

A dear friend had invited me over for some sweet tea and conversation. We sat in the sunshine and watched the kids play. My feelings I had tucked inside the deep creases of my heart began to surface. Before I knew what I was doing I spoke the words,

“Have you ever felt like…”

I stopped.

I couldn’t speak another word. Tears overcame me and my emotions that only my babies had seen flowed out.

My precious friend spoke a few words that I will never forget,

“Like your in a fog?” A FOG. Yes! That was exactly how I felt.

A big, dark, cloudy fog.

How did she know?

She explained, “I had a season like that. I can’t tell you exactly how, but eventually the fog lifted. It took time, but it did lift. You’re going to be okay.”

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. Psalm 43:5 (ESV)

That day the fog did not miraculously disappear, but my friend gave me a priceless gift – HOPE! Hope that the fog would lift. In hindsight, I can’t tell you exactly how or when, but I can tell you this: The fog did lift! I finally woke up one day and felt like myself again.

Breaking the silence was the first step. Maybe you have felt the fog surrounding your days and nights, or have looked in the mirror and wanted to tell the girl looking back at you to snap out of it.

If I could go back, I would have broken the silence a lot sooner. I suffered in silence far too long. It’s time to share what you’re going through. It’s okay to not be okay. Tell someone you trust what you are going through. Hope is available! Speaking up might not cure you over night, but it might be your first giant step of breaking through the fog.

Many are suffering in silence. Share this to encourage someone to BREAK THE SILENCE and spread hope.

Love & Blessings,

Micah

I hope you’ll join me next Sunday night as we talk about taking another step toward breaking through the fog. Breaking the Silence is just the beginning, but it’s so vital.

Don’t forget, SHARE this with someone you love!

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Click here to see where I’m linking up this week.

About Micah Maddox

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  1. Micah, I think you have made such a strong point. So many are desperate to come out of the fog more quickly. May we gently approach the topic of depression with grace & mercy. Blessings!

  2. Thank you for sharing your story to encourage others.

    It’s no coincidence that I was linked up after you. Just last night I was wrestling with myself asking the touch question, “Am I suffering from depression??” I haven’t felt myself in a long time. I don’t seem to fall in the “category” of what a depressed person might “act like” because I don’t cry, I do laugh, I am motivated and continue on in my days. I feel like it’s more a lack of contentment, but then again, things that normally should make me happy, I can feel lack-luster about.

    I have already begun the process of searching myself, but your post has spurred me on to remember to seek the Lord and ask Him to search me, the One who knows me.

    I’m so glad I stopped by. :-)

    1. Karen, I’m so glad you stopped by too! Keep seeking Him day by day. I will pray for deep satisfaction and contentment.

  3. Part 2 is good too, Micah! I read part one last week, and I think this is a wonderful follow up.

    I believe so many people will be able to relate to your situation. I know I’ve lived in the land of the “fog” many times.

    Came over on Soul Survivor.

    Hope you have a blessed day~
    Melanie

    1. Melanie, it’s great to have you back this week! If you want to be sure to get each week as they are posted, you can sign up for emails on the right sidebar. I only post once or twice a week so it won’t overload your inbox ;). I’m so glad to have you here!

  4. I just found your blog on Soul Survivor. I have struggled with depression and anxiety all of my adult life. I’m now 55 years old. Having come from an abusive childhood where I did not know the saving grace of Christ, I found him as a teenager. Depression is often a hereditary illness and that is the case for me. But, praise God! He has shown me how to honor him in my illness! I have prayed for healing from depression and anxiety for as long as I have suffered from it. His answer seems to be to find my healing through medication. (I’ve taken meds for more than 26 years now.) Many, many people do not understand or agree with this. But here is my truth: When I do not take medication I am so overwhelmed by the darkness that I cannot feel his presence or know his joy. When I take medication that balances the serotonin in my brain I am fully capable of rejoicing, worshipping and participating in the Spirit of Joy and being available to others, to be a blessing to them to do the work that I know I’ve been appointed to do. I am beyond grateful for the doctor the Lord has led me to and the medications that allow me to function within his will.

    Does God heal depression by miraculous touch? I know he does! And he will, for me, someday. But in the meantime I’m here to do his good will and to live in the joy of his presence through the miracle of modern medicine. Amen!

    1. Judy, I’m so thankful you have a found a way to manage your depression! Modern medicine is amazing! Depression is hereditary for me as well. I will share more about my experience with using medication as a form of healing in the near future. Thank you for sharing your story! I pray it is a help to someone who may be experiencing that darkness that we are discussing. You are an inspiration to me!

      1. Thank you so much for saying that! I really do feel as if the Lord has chosen me to be that voice. And I have been blessed to speak into other people’s lives.

  5. micah, i think this is a great start for sure. however, as an RN, i would be remiss in not mentioning that often there are physical causes for depression that can easily be discovered by a visit to your doctor and some blood tests. among them: low blood count (anemia), thyroid fluctuations (hi or lo), lo D3 level, low b12 level, and a multitude of physical issues. moms tend to go get checked last. if you are struggling like this, go see your doctor/nurse practitioner. get checked out for physical issues that could be underlying problems that can cause depression. there are many. there is no reason to walk around feeling this way when there are solutions that can be as simple as increasing a certain vitamin or possible getting started on thyroid or B12. in order to manage a family and the busy lifestyle that requires, you need to be physically in tip top shape! maybe all you need is to start an exercise regimen to improve you outlook on life…or improve some eating habits. a good place to start is with your doctor.

    1. Martha, I agree completely and will address a few of the things you mentioned in a future post in this series! I’m not a doctor so I won’t be giving medical advice, but I will share what worked for me! Thank you for all the great advice! I’m sure it will be a major help to someone who comes across this series!

  6. Thanks for sharing this!! More people need to share their stories publicly. Depression is such a “glossed-over” issue today. Just about everybody is “diagnosed” with it, so the importance of helping those with this problem is also glossed-over. I have dealt with this issue for years – and am still fighting the fog! I agree with you that hope is an incredible gift! It doesn’t work every single time the impending fog rolls in, but it sure does help a few rays of sunshine to penetrate those heavy clouds. *Hugs* to you from a fellow fog-fighter! Linking up with you at Mommy Moments.

  9. I’m so grateful for your vulnerability here. I’ve wrestled with depression too, and it’s such a beautiful thing when you have people you can break the silence to share it with. I’m excited to keep reading your posts in this series!

  10. I so appreciate your openness and willingness to share this part of your journey. I’ve struggled off and on with depression most of my life. At one point I took medication. Now, as a midlife women who has walked through so many changes in the last several years, it’s a daily struggle to not “feel blue”. I am thankful for a loving God who is kind and patient and reinforces who I am in Him, no matter how I feel. Thank you for sharing at The Weekend Brew!

    1. Barbie, you are precious. Thank you for sharing your own experience with “feeling blue.” I love what you said about “God who is kind and patient and reinforces who I am in Him, no matter how I feel.” What a powerful statement. Thank you for your thoughts on this topic!

  11. “completely trapped inside a haze of irrational thoughts, unmotivated days and sleepless nights. Fatigue, guilt and confusion filled the hours, minutes and seconds of my life.”
    EXACTLY! I tried to confide in the wrong person and ended up feeling like an idiot. But the Lord knows, not only what’s wrong with me, but He is also able to heal me! If I can hold on to that hope
    ……

    1. Confiding in someone who has not walked the same path or who is not trained to deal with depression can be devastating. I hope you will reach out to someone who can give you sound advice and counsel! The Lord is able to heal. Keep holding on and reach out for help.

  12. Micah, Romans 15:13 is one of my favorite verses. God is the God of Hope! Breaking the silence, good advice. Our enemy wants to keep us isolated thinking we’re the only ones who’ve felt a certain way.

  13. Thanks for talking about such a hard subject. So many suffer from depression and suffer in silence because they are ashamed. There’s no reason to be ashamed! It’s an illness, like cancer or the flu and if you had one of those, you would most certainly talk about it and get help!

    1. I think shame is one of the hardest parts of depression. It traps women into feeling like they can’t speak up. Thank you for bringing out that point, April!

  15. Without hope it is so hard to keep our heads up and have perspective. When I was feeling hopeless I reached out to a group of friends and asked them to pray for me – not just “pray for me” but we actually live around the country and we met online and prayed for an hour. It was so powerful and life giving. Galatians 3:1,3 comes to mind: “Who has bewitched you?…After beginning with the Spirit are you now trying to attain your goal by human effort.” Paul was speaking to the Galatians about attaining salvation by human effort but I think it can apply to our living our Christian lives by human effort as well. Thanks again for offering hope to those struggling!

    1. I love that Angela! I believe in the power of prayer! We serve a powerful God! Thank you for sharing this!

  16. Thank you so much for opening up about this. I have been affected by depression and I know so many others who have. You explained it all so well. I am so glad to hear that the fog has lifted. Praise the Lord!

  18. So glad to read an honest post about depression. We use so many code words. Depression is very multifaceted and a long process. I am so glad you had that friend. I have my husband and praying women. God is so faithful to show us, string by string the unwinding of how to get to our root of depression, and then walk it out in the truth He has spoken.
    Here from #tell His story.
    Cheers,
    Leah

    1. It’s time we cast away those code words and call it what it is. I love your words when you say “Walk it out in the truth He has spoken.” Amen! Thank you for joining the conversation!

  19. Beautifully enlightening post, Micah. For those who have never experienced any season of depression, fog might seem like a lovely, surreal place to visit, when in fact, it is not. Thank you for your transparency in sharing this series with so many who are hurting or who have loved ones who are hurting. Visiting this morning at #LiveFree Thursday, and anxious to meet you face-to-face in a little while at She Speaks!

  20. Micah, I appreciated your metaphor — fog.
    For me, it’s a pane of glass between me and everything. I can see it all, and know that I’m supposed to feel a certain way about it, but the glass is in the way.
    Thanks for your honest and hope-filled words.

    1. Michele, thank you so much for sharing that. I’m sure there are others who can relate exactly! Praying blessings over you today!

  21. Micah I have been there too. In fact I bet a lot of us have been. Thank you for being brave to tell us your story. You are such a blessing.

  22. Isn’t it amazing how powerful our words are? The words we speak and the words that are spoken to us? I tell people that if they can break their silence and speak their words out loud, it’s like they are taking their words from darkness to light. And the light? That’s Jesus. Such an encouraging post – never underestimate the power of HOPE!

    1. Yes, Jennifer, I love those words you shared! “And the light? That’s Jesus.” AMEN! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

  23. Thank you for linking up at Inspire Me Monday–I look forward to reading the rest of your series–all too often people suffer in silence–I know I did! I felt especially guilting about not being ‘happy and cheerful and normal’ because my husband had been miraculously cured from cancer. Depression was the last thing I suspected.

    1. Anita, thank you so much for sharing your own experience! I’m so thankful your husband is cured! You are not alone in feeling guilty. Guilt seems to complicate depression and keep people down. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through!

  24. Micah, I do trust that your words will encourage and motivate many to break their silence. Thank you so much for sharing this with us…we’ll be featuring this on Coffee & Conversation tomorrow!
    Have a blessed week :-)

  25. Thank you Gods perfect timing led me to these four posts, reading these four posts has helped me get up and have a bath it’s 4pm but I have found hope!

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