Mom, Stay a Little Longer

The sink is overflowing with dishes and the floor is speckled with crumbs, but it’s time for dinner again. The easiest option is soup, so I stir and let it simmer until it’s ready. I reach in the drawer for spoons and open the cabinet for bowls, but I see the empty space where the spoons go and the blank shelf where the bowls normally reside.

I need to wash the dishes. They pile up so quickly. Faster than I can keep up. Isn’t that the way life happens sometimes? And then we go to reach for what we need and we find an emptiness, or a lack of.

After dinner we empty the sink only so we can fill it up again and wait for the dishwasher to run its course.

It’s comical some days, other days it makes me crazy. Sometimes I think I get it right and I walk around with my chest puffed up at the sight of an empty sink and full cabinets, other days I’m doomed with the disaster of chores undone, and I think I’ll never measure up.

When evening draws near, we do the routine and read, and pray, and hug, and kiss, and then I hear a voice call for me, “Mom, will you stay a little longer?”

Time is valuable and exhaustion is prevalent, but my heart tells me to stay. I crawl into the bed next to the child that fills up the sink day after day, and I listen to the words that flow from her developing mind.

“Mom, what’s your favorite thing to do?”

“I don’t know. What’s yours?”

“My favorite thing is spending time with you, Mom.”

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Time. That’s all she wants.

And that’s what she will remember – the time we spend together.

The dishes will sit and have no remembrance of neglect, but children, they remember. They know when life is too busy. They are valuable, vulnerable, and the victims of the way we use our time.

So for this season, I will stay a little longer.

We are all so hard on ourselves. Either it’s the dishes, the laundry, the floor that needs to be mopped, the bathtub that needs scrubbed, the leaves that need raked, or the half done projects that sit in the garage waiting for a snowy day allowing a little more time. It’s the time we waste on Facebook, or Pinterest, and all the things that pull at our attention all day long. We want our children to have good memories so we try hard to make them.

So we buy stuff, plan things, and go places.

But what will they remember?

I don’t think it’s the gifts, the stuff, the sports, the activities, the dishes, or even if the laundry is clean or dirty.

They will remember the time. The time you took them on a special outing to spend the money they saved for weeks. The time you chose to listen when they had a broken heart. The time you patiently helped them through the struggles with their friends. The time you spent playing ball with them or riding the bike trail one more time. The time you raked leaves all day and let them jump in the piles. The time you stayed and talked at night when their little hearts poured out what they really thought. The time you let them play in the puddles and run in the rain. It’s not about a clean house, or a picture perfect memory – it’s about time.

“Mom, will you stay a little longer?”

Let’s do the dishes and get the kids to pitch in, but when it comes down to the end of the day and everyone is exhausted, let’s choose time over dishes. Let’s choose love over laundry. Let’s choose sweet goodnight talks over sweeping. Because all of the chores will be there tomorrow, but the time, we will never get back.

We don’t know what tomorrow brings, so let’s stay a little longer and linger in the sweet moments of I need you, I love you, and I’m with you. Because there will come a day when they are all grown up and the bedtime stories will end, the adorable things they say will change, and life will look a bit different.

For now, Mom, stay a little longer. It’s worth every moment!

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Matthew 19:14

Love & Blessings,

Micah

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  1. Something I am trying to remember and work on every day! Thanks so much for the reminder!

  2. So true, Micah!
    You brought to mind a poem I cross-stitched way back, when I became a mom for the first time…
    “Cleaning and scrubbing can wait ’til tomorrow
    For babies grow up we’ve learned to our sorrow,
    So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep
    I’m rocking my baby, and babies don’t keep.”

    Those were sweet, sweet days. Not perfect or easy, by any means, but sweet.
    If we really stop to think about it, though, we are all in need of a little time from those who love us most.
    Jesus wants to spend time with us, too.
    He loves it when we ask to stay just a little longer. His answer is always “yes”. He loves to hear about our day, our problems, and our ponderings. He loves to hear our I-love-you’s, I-need-you’s, and to tell us of His deep love for us and I’m-with-you’s.

    So for always, Friends, just enjoy and stay a little longer! It’s worth every moment!

    P.s…enjoying a repeat of this special time with my 3 grand-littles. There is such amazement to see the world and Jesus through their eyes!

    1. Linda, Thank you so much for sharing! What beautiful poem and I love the connection you made to us and Jesus! Absolutely beautiful! Oh How I need to stay a little longer with Him and how thankful I am that He stays with me and loves me even when I’m not acting lovable. Enjoy those grandbabies! Precious moments for sure!

  3. Such truth Micah. Even today with adult kids and grandsons I stop whatever I’m doing most times and set with the boys are take off with the girls to lunch or shopping and son fishing.

    1. I love one on one time with my kids! The shopping trips, dates, and special time of reading and rocking…they are getting big and I know these days are quickly passing!

  4. Heart melting at those words from your little sweetie.
    And I needed to hear this because yesterday the grand boy was here and the sink was full of dishes because the whole mob had gathered here for a big dinner, but he was having a melt down and I knew that he needed a story and his mum needed a break. So we held hands and found a book and sat on the stairs (because the house was THAT full) and we read a few stories, and suddenly his world was ok again.
    And those dumb dishes just sat there and waited.

    1. Michele, I know how it goes. I love that you found a spot on the steps and let love take over. It’s not always the easy option, but I’m learning it is so necessary. I hope you all had a great weekend with your crew!

        1. Me too! I hope anyone who reads won’t feel smote, but will feel a new resolve to “stay a little longer”. I don’t get this right every time, but am so convicted and challenged by it. And my kids keep me accountable.

  5. Micah- thank you for this reminder. The house beacons our attention, but our kids need it.
    I love this poem and have it on a sign.

    Song for a Fifth Child

    by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton
    Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth,
    Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
    Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
    Sew on a button and make up a bed.
    Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
    She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.
    Oh, I’ve grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
    (Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).
    Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
    (Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).
    The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
    And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
    But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.
    Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?
    (Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo).

    The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
    For children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
    So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
    I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.

    Julie

  6. Micah, I just love this: “Let’s choose love over laundry. Let’s choose sweet goodnight talks over sweeping. Because all of the chores will be there tomorrow, but the time, we will never get back.”

    I remember those nights of falling into bed next to my kids to talk even though I felt so overwhelmed and exhausted. And let me tell you, those nights are gone! At about 17, they started staying up later than I did, and now one has flown the coop! But your words encourage me to relish my afternoon walks with my daughter. An extra 30 minutes each day (even though I go on a prayer walk in the morning) feels like a big investment, but it has worked wonders for our relationship, and I know I won’t have her here too many more years. Thanks for this.

    1. Betsy, I love the 30 minute walk you do! What a wonderful memory for your daughter to carry with her! She will miss those days in a few years probably as much as you will. Keep walking! Hugs dear friend!

  7. “It’s not about a clean house, or a picture perfect memory – it’s about time.” I love everything about this post, Micah! My house was not always clean and dishes weren’t always done, but I tried to give my kids the gift of time and that was the best thing I could do. I am still close to all 7 of my children who range in age from 19 – 40.

    Blessings to you! I’m your neighbor at the #RaRaLinkup!

  8. I love this reminder of the importance of our presence! I’m often reflecting on the importance of slowing down and centering ourselves on what is important. Thank you, Micah!

    1. Nicole, this is something I reflect on regularly. I know I need to improve in this area, and my children are the best reminders. When I truly listen and look into their eyes I am so reminded! Thanks so much for your comment!

  9. I love this, Micah. My girls are greedy for my time, and I’m learning to plan accordingly. The one thing I wish my mom had done was spend more time with me, so I’m determined to give my kids more than enough. It’s not always easy, though, and I have a lot better understanding of why I never felt like I had enough of my mom’s time or attention. Moms just have so much stuff to take care of, and kids don’t have the maturity to grasp that. So we do the best we can…and trust God to fill in the gaps.

    1. I love your insight, Sarah. It’s true, moms have so much to do and the kids cannot possibly understand or comprehend the pressure. I love the way you put it, “Do the best we can…and trust God to fill in the gaps.” So much truth.

  10. This seems to be a recurring theme in my life. I get reminded to slow down and just love my family, and then I get busy again. Thanks for the timely reminder that time is something we can never get back.

  11. It’s true. I recall much of my own mother’s time spent with me but not so much the gifts, etc. And those kids? They grow up so fast! My husband and I are learning that firsthand as our oldest graduates this year. You’re wise to take those moments, Micah. Neighboring with you at #thoughtprovokingThursday.

    1. Hey Kristi! Great to see you here! It’s crazy how fast they grow, isn’t it?! Congrats on the graduation, but I know there will also be lots are hard parts about that! Enjoy the moments and memories!

  12. My oldest daughter just moved out to her own place and my oldest son moved to another state for college in August. I still have 2 high schoolers at home, so I don’t often hear them say “stay a little longer, Mom” in such overt ways as your child says. but you know what, no matter what age our kids are, we can hear them say it, if we listen closely,. It sounds like this “can you come look at ____” “come watch this _____ with me.” “don’t eat without me” or a text that says “do you want to Skype tonight?” or a phone call that says “I don’t have anything to say… just wanted to knw what you are doing..” I have learned that there is little more important that just making myself available during those critical moments. and I love the great reminder that “the dishes will have no remembrance of neglect” and neither will the computer, or facebook or television or so many things that occupy our time today. Thanks for this great post!

    1. Karen, I LOVE the ways you give us to listen. SO many times our children are crying out for our time. It’s a big job that takes time, but it’s so worth it!

  13. This is so true but sometimes so hard to apply. I always wishing for more time to get things done or heaven for bid time for ourselves. I know I struggle with that. There is a side of me that wants my 2 year old to get older so she can say things like that but wishing that is wishing the moments away of the cute things she says that surprises me that she even got. Needing to be content in the moment. that’s what is important. love it. your neighbor at coffee for your heart

    1. Oh Kristina, I get it girl. Every stage has it’s “I just need some time for me” moments. I think you’re right – contentment in the stage is so key!

  14. “It’s not about a clean home or a perfect memory. It’s about time.” AMEN, AMEN, AMEN! I’m not a mom yet, but this is how I feel about laundry and some other cleaning activities … I care less about those and more about spending time with my husband, dog and friends. Those are the things that really matter. Beautiful post, my sweet friend!

  15. Oh Micah! I love this post. This is exactly what I’ve been struggling with for the last few weeks since I took on a full time job. I really did think it was the best thing to do for the family. It wasn’t about the money and I’ve since resigned but have managed to score some part time, work at home work from this company. I really am very lucky. Such a wonderful post. I want to thank you for linking up each week. I love your posts. I also want to let you know I’m featuring your post at tomorrow’s party. Thank you so much for the inspiration.

    Anne @ Domesblissity xx

    1. Anne, thank you so much for featuring my post! And kudos to you for making a change when it was needed! Such a difficult thing to do. Thanks for hosting a great link up! Blessings to you and your family!

  16. So true. We try to juggle so many things. But time can never be gotten back. They remember the picnics under the tree in the front yard, which was my son’s favourite. Or going to the park for a picnic and a play; throwing the frizbee, kicking the ball. My son is now 26, nearly finished uni, and still remembers. He still remembers that I taught him to type using Keewala. He said to me the other day, ‘You know I can type mum.’ I asked, ‘Where did you learn.’ He said, ‘You taught me, remember the time…. at primary school.’ ‘Wow! You remembered…’ So yes time is precious ‘to be used wisely and with caution.’
    With my nieces we spend time playing games, running around the yard madly on weekends on during school holidays when I see them.
    As for the dishes, I tried to make it fun. I would wash and my son would rinse. We’d have a chat about his school day and before we knew it was done. However, I let them drain to put away the next morning. But it didn’t always work out that way.

  17. This is so beautiful! This really spoke to me, because sometimes I find myself doing the exact opposite. I need to be more present with my children. The dishes can wait.

    1. Sometimes it’s so much easier to say than to actually do isn’t it? I know what I need to do, but then I see all that needs to be done. I’m learning that many times the most important things are unseen – like tending to people’s hearts. I hope you have a blessed week!

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