When You Want to Know “WHY”
I walked around the living room at a fast pace. I was circling the room with no destination in mind. I couldn’t think clearly with all the thoughts bombarding me all at once. This was a time in my life when I felt like there were so many questions and no real tangible answers to grab hold of.
I wanted to trust God and know that He was in control, but on this particular day I was at a loss. Confusion seemed to fill my heart, mind and soul. I made my final lap around the ottoman when I cried out to the Lord.
“Why, Lord? What are you doing?”
Sometimes the events of life bring unanswered questions that make us want to scream, cry out, and beg God for an explanation. The pressure of the unknown bears down so hard that it seems impossible to see beyond the reality of the moment. Ultimately you know in your heart that God has a purpose and a plan, but when answers are so far in the distance that they cannot be grasped, it’s difficult to rest in the in-between.
You rationalize the possibilities by playing out every scenario in your mind. If this happens, I’ll do this. If that happens, I’ll have to do that. If it all continues to fall apart, I don’t know what I’ll do. If things go awry I’ll just have to…
We take control of what we don’t even know. We tell God what we’ll do and what we won’t do. We act as though we are producing our own story and like we have complete control of our lives. When the unanswered questions loom heavy over head like they did for me that day in the living room, we end up walking in circles with no direction. It’s like we want to continue moving forward but we are spinning instead.
When I think back on that day, I remember crying out to God. I remember feeling alone in the living room wondering where God was and why He wasn’t coming through for me. Finally, I dropped to my knees and I gave up. I stopped trying, and I stopped pushing forward.
Here’s what I learned:
1. God is writing the story, not me. When I finally submitted to God’s purpose even though I didn’t know what it was, I sensed His presence with me.
2. Stop running in circles. Sometimes I wear myself out by frantically pacing the floor, when God is telling me, “BE STILL.”
3. I was created to worship, not worry. Unanswered questions are usually the first thing to set me on the fast track to worry and confusion. When I cannot rationalize it in my mind, I worry. In the seasons of the unknowns, God is teaching me to worship rather than worry.
4. When I wonder where God is, I should go back to where I’ve found Him before. The moments that bring me to my knees are many times the memorable moments filled with God’s presence, conviction, and comfort. It’s not that God shows me the final outcome or that He gives me a huge revelation, but it’s a place where God says, “I’m here.”
Sometimes the unanswered questions are never answered and the purpose is not revealed. I’m learning in the midst of the unknowns and in-betweens that God has a message for you and for me in every season. You might not be pacing the floor, or dropping to your knees, but the unknowns are sure to find you at some point.
When they do it’s time to remember that you’re not writing the story. So stop running. Worship. And go back to where you’ve found God before. His presence is accessible and His peace is possible even in the in-between.
Love & Blessings,
Micah
If you are in the midst of unanswered questions, I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Maybe you have survived some events that have left you with unanswered questions, but God has given you peace beyond the unknown – share your experience with us in the comments to encourage someone who might be struggling. You never know who is having a rough week.