Ever Feel Inadequate?
Living With Purpose in Every Season: Week 6
Do ever feel like everyone else is doing life better than you?
I get it. I see what everyone else is doing and how awesome they are doing it and wonder what I am missing.
As a homeschool mom for the past three years, the trap of comparison is so evident all around me.
It only takes one glance around me to get me all choked up about how inadequate my homeschooling skills are.
As a blogger, it only takes one click to realize how much I don’t know about the huge land of the blogosphere.
As a writer, it only takes the introduction of one book for me to think things like my writing isn’t that unique or special.
As a pastor’s wife, there are a thousand churches out there with more innovative methods, more beautiful buildings, larger congregations…
As a wife, my body has changed dramatically through the years and I don’t always feel as romantic as I did when we first chose to live this life together. And working out? Well, I do go up and down the stairs several times a day and sometimes that includes lugging a load of laundry or pumping my arms like I just finished a marathon. Does that count?
As a mom, I don’t always feed my children the healthiest options or give them the best example to follow. Thank the Lord for frozen pizza and Taco Bell. (Forgive me health food friends.)
Have you ever looked so intently at everyone else around you that you quickly see yourself as a big fat failure?
We don’t like to admit it, but sometimes we see ourselves as never good enough, never strong enough, never healthy enough, never smart enough, never, never, never enough.
I don’t know how you cope when you feel less than, but sometimes I eat a pan of brownies, drink cold Dr. Pepper, and think somehow that will make me feel better. And then I take a nap. Perfect.
What about you? How do you cope?
Do you work harder to do better? Do you focus on one thing and try your best to improve? Do you find a 5-step process to being a better mom, wife, blogger…?
You can find a quick fix for just about anything on the internet these days. As soon as we feel like we aren’t cutting it, google is sure to give us the answer to all of our problems.
As I wrestled with my own failures and feelings of inadequacy, God impressed my heart with a few words and I want to share them with you. I hope you will find freedom and realize no matter what you do, who you are, or how short you feel like you are falling, God doesn’t hold the measuring stick like we do.
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. Philippians 1:6 (ESV)
Here we go! The words God gave me:
“Stop trying so hard.”
“Follow Me.”
When I began comparing my homeschool skills with others, I quickly found other ways to do everything I was already doing. We had a system that worked well for us, but when I looked around and was challenged with other ideas, I began to feel like our way wasn’t good enough.
While there is definitely value in learning new ways, it wasn’t time for us to “improve”. We needed to maintain a routine, and finish strong. Looking around for new ways only complicated things and made me feel less than enough.
[ctt template=”8″ link=”rPg8k” via=”no” ]Comparison is never comforting.[/ctt]
When I began comparing my writing and ministry with others out there, it didn’t take long for me to see my need to be more visible, more effective, more innovative. But as I heard God speak to me, He didn’t say words like innovative, or visible. He said words like:
“Trust Me.”
“Follow Me.”
“My way, not your innovation or creativity.”
When I realized all my striving for more was actually producing less, I stopped. I took a fresh look at myself and realized where I went wrong. I compared. I compared myself and my life to everyone else instead of living with a single-hearted focus on God.
I thought that I was doing everything for God. Or was I?
I loved my children and wanted them to know God and have a good education, but when I measured my teaching up against how everyone else was doing it, I missed the mark. I wasn’t supposed to do it their way.
God had a way for me. His way.
Writing and ministry always starts out as a good thing for me, but then it’s so easy to get wrapped up in numbers, and platforms, and social media. There’s too many articles out there on how to make it big and how to make big even bigger. Is that what God calls us to? Big?
[ctt template=”8″ link=”h4u69″ via=”yes” ]For me, God is calling me to something different than “big”. [/ctt]
God is calling me to surrender. It means no matter what the world says, I have to choose God’s way.
It might mean I don’t do school the way others do.
Or it might mean I need to make changes in the way I reach people.
It might mean I don’t follow the blogging rules or read the latest news on how to grow a platform even though everyone in the world is saying I should.
It might mean I sit down and read a book with my kids instead.
Or take out my Bible when it’s not “quiet time” and see what God has for me outside of my normal devotional time.
It might mean I don’t post 3.5 times on Facebook a day or blog twice a week like all the other successful bloggers out there.
It’s not because I don’t want to be successful or think my way is better, it’s because God is calling me to Follow Him.
I can’t follow God and follow the world too.
I just can’t, and I’m pretty sure that’s true for all of us.
For you, God might have you follow the latest and greatest tips and tricks of the trade for your calling, but for me I sense God calling me to a simpler way – His.
If you are tired of trying so hard and comparing notes with others, here’s a little encouragement for you:
1. You don’t have to measure up to the world’s standards of anything.
2. God’s way is always the best way.
3. God’s times is always right.
4. God’s power is always present.
5. God’s presence is always better than the Pinterest perfect plans and procedures.
What will you do this week to embrace God’s way?
How have you been chasing the ways of the world?
How often do you fall into the trap of comparison?
Let’s rise up and be who God wants us to be.
I’m just a wife and mom who happens to write when God says so, and that is enough. God is enough in me. God is enough in you too.
Let’s live with purpose – His purpose.
Love & Blessings,
Micah
Are you following this series? If you missed any of the other weeks you can find them here:
Week 1 – Silent Seasons
Week 2 – Season of Blessings
Week 3 – Seasons to Stop
Week 4 – Seasons of Uncertainty
Week 5 – Seasons When You Feel Shattered