Mother of the Year or Monster of the Year? Let Your Family Decide
Motherhood is a priceless gift. There have been days that I wake up and feel like the best mom ever. The kids are clean, kind and obedient. Then there are other days. The other days look a bit like a crazy movie and leave me feeling like a complete failure.
The dishes are overflowing in the sink, the house is a wreck, the kids are grumpy, the hubby is looking at me like I am the incredible hulk and I happen to feel like a crazy monster from outer space. Why doesn’t anyone in my house understand me? All I want is to take a shower and use the restroom without tiny fingers creeping under the door calling my name four hundred thirty-two times. If the clothes ended up in the hamper that would be wonderful too! Oh, and if everyone could remember to flush the toilet so that our house does not smell like a zoo it would be divine. Is that too much to ask?
I have good intentions to be calm, sweet and a bit like Mary Poppins, but sometimes I am more like a transformer turning into the forceful machine that can get the job done. I bark out orders like a drill sergeant and rush here and there getting things checked off my list. I don’t intend to be so unpleasant but once I get into crazy mode it’s hard to crack it.
I don’t know if it’s the age of the kids or just learning with time, but somehow I have managed to turn down the crazy mode a notch or two. Life is much more enjoyable when mom is pleasant. You know the saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Unfortunately this is entirely true in my house. We are working on it.
I don’t want to be a monster and I definitely don’t want my children to remember my crazy, less than pleasant attitudes that creep into our days. Here are a few things I am learning:
1. Be kind. Those who are closest to us seem to take the brunt of our mood swings, bad attitudes and frustration. When I take a deep breath and focus on being kind to my family, I am less likely to transform into the incredible hulk or some other crazy character.
2. Slow down. When life gets hectic and rushed, the family is hectic and rushed. Don’t over commit to activities, outings and stuff to do. It’s nice to go out, be with friends and do stuff, but if that means craziness on the home front, count me out. I have been there and done that. I rushed in and out of my minivan too many times buckling and un-buckling seat belts only to end up at our destination frustrated and irritated. I am a much nicer mom when I slow down and allow my children to slow down too.
3. Smile often. When our little ones are babies we wait with excitement for the first smiles and giggles. As they get older the laughter gets louder and if there is more than one laughing at a time it gets plain loud. What I once couldn’t wait for, now I let irritate me. I’m working on enjoying the laughter more. Rather than hushing it up, join in the fun. Stop long enough to talk, tell a funny story and giggle. Be the happiest person your children know.
4. Don’t freak out over spills and accidents. I know what it’s like to have vomit all over a car seat in every crevasse or a blueberry smoothie all over the kitchen walls, curtains, table and floor. I have stood in shock and embarrassment in a restaurant as an entire table filled with dishes and food was turned over by my child. Unfortunately she decided to do a gymnastics move while she exited the booth. Spills and accidents happen. Rather than react to it like a crazy woman with smoke coming out of her ears and fire from her mouth, just clean it up. Easier said than done, but trust me. If you freak out over spills, your child will too. Just be thankful no one was hurt and that it can be cleaned up. Calmness beats crazy any day of the week.
5. Start your day with God. I am not saying that you need to get up hours before your children and read three chapters, a Psalm, a Proverb, a page in a devotional book and a chapter from your current Christian book stash followed by hours of prayer, but I am saying those first moments with God have the potential to make a huge difference in your life.
In my own life these moments look different from year to year depending on the season of my life. Some seasons I have had a quick minute to acknowledge God’s presence as I picked up my crying baby who needed mama right away, and other seasons have allowed for dedicated time to dive deep into scripture and sit with God a while. You do what is right for your season. The important thing is that you acknowledge God and give Him your heart and mind first thing. When you do, it’s not a guaranteed good day, but when things start getting nutty you can take a deep breath and know God already knew what you would face. You might be surprised that the exact verse you read that morning fits your scenario perfectly. God does special things like that to remind us that He sees us even in the day in and day out moments of motherhood.
Sometimes I blame my children and even my husband thinking they are the reason I get crazy. Like I have the right to transform into a teenage mutant ninja turtle destroying anyone in my path. The truth is, if I focus on changing my own heart I am a kinder, compassionate, calmer mama. I don’t have to be a monster, and neither do you.
Most of our families would never give us the title “Monster of the Year,” but if you’re anything like me you have moments that you would prefer no one really see or know about. Let’s start out this Mother’s Day being kinder, calmer moms, that smile more, slow down, and don’t freak out over the normal accidents and spills. The only way we will succeed is with God’s help. Start your day with Him, ask your family to forgive you for the crazy moments and make this year the best year ever. This will be a gift to yourself this Mother’s Day, but most of all for those precious people that call you “Mama.”
If you fail and find yourself in a frenzy, take a deep breath and start again. Smile, slow down, breathe, be kind and ask God to direct your energy toward love and calmness.
What do you do to combat the crazy moments of motherhood? I would love to hear from you!
If you don’t have crazy in your house, please let us know so we can have some of what you got!
Love & Blessings,
Micah
P.S. Some day I will miss those little fingers that appear under the bathroom door.