Hope for the Depressed Woman: Week 2 – Breaking the Silence
Welcome to Week 2 of Hope for the Depressed Woman. If you missed the first post of this series you can view it here – Week 1: Slow Down. Throughout this series I will share my personal experience with depression and the things I learned along the way. I don’t share this to glorify myself or to give medical or physical advice (I’m not a doctor or counselor), but I share from a deep place of my heart that once ached with feelings that I could not understand. God has freed me from depression and I hope sharing my personal experience will encourage you if you have struggled in this area of life.
Depression: Week 2 – BREAKING THE SILENCE
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. Romans 15:13(ESV)
I looked in the mirror and did not even recognize the girl looking back at me. A girl who was once strong and confident was now insecure, anxious and felt completely trapped inside a haze of irrational thoughts, unmotivated days and sleepless nights. Fatigue, guilt and confusion filled the hours, minutes and seconds of my life.
Though the sun shined brightly outside, there seemed to be a thick, dark cloud that surrounded my body day after day. I wanted desperately to cut through it. If I could just take a giant step outside of the fog and escape from the clouds, then I could snap back into my normal routine. Everything normal seemed so far out of reach.
I sat at my kitchen table and stared out the sliding glass door. I could see the bird’s wings fluttering and the trees swaying in the breeze, but I felt like my life was on pause and everything in my world was moving on without me. I wanted to be in motion, but I couldn’t figure out how to get into the swing of normal. Gazing out the window was the place I found myself day after day. Exhausted, emotional and unsure where to turn.
No one really knew what I was going through. My baby girls saw me cry most days; but, other than that, I tucked my feelings as far away as I could from everyone I came in contact with.
After several weeks of the same routine of sitting at my kitchen table on pause, I finally broke the silence.
A dear friend had invited me over for some sweet tea and conversation. We sat in the sunshine and watched the kids play. My feelings I had tucked inside the deep creases of my heart began to surface. Before I knew what I was doing I spoke the words,
“Have you ever felt like…”
I stopped.
I couldn’t speak another word. Tears overcame me and my emotions that only my babies had seen flowed out.
My precious friend spoke a few words that I will never forget,
“Like your in a fog?” A FOG. Yes! That was exactly how I felt.
A big, dark, cloudy fog.
How did she know?
She explained, “I had a season like that. I can’t tell you exactly how, but eventually the fog lifted. It took time, but it did lift. You’re going to be okay.”
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God. Psalm 43:5 (ESV)
That day the fog did not miraculously disappear, but my friend gave me a priceless gift – HOPE! Hope that the fog would lift. In hindsight, I can’t tell you exactly how or when, but I can tell you this: The fog did lift! I finally woke up one day and felt like myself again.
Breaking the silence was the first step. Maybe you have felt the fog surrounding your days and nights, or have looked in the mirror and wanted to tell the girl looking back at you to snap out of it.
If I could go back, I would have broken the silence a lot sooner. I suffered in silence far too long. It’s time to share what you’re going through. It’s okay to not be okay. Tell someone you trust what you are going through. Hope is available! Speaking up might not cure you over night, but it might be your first giant step of breaking through the fog.
Many are suffering in silence. Share this to encourage someone to BREAK THE SILENCE and spread hope.
Love & Blessings,
Micah
I hope you’ll join me next Sunday night as we talk about taking another step toward breaking through the fog. Breaking the Silence is just the beginning, but it’s so vital.
Don’t forget, SHARE this with someone you love!
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