Silent Stealers of Joy: Good Intentions & Guilt
After a long day of mothering, wife-ing, friending, loving, helping, caring, cooking, cleaning, shopping and everything else-ing, I snuggle into my bed and the thoughts of what I should have done differently begin. My thoughts parade through my mind like a slide show highlighting the little things I forgot to do or say.
I think of how I should have answered my friend differently or stopped what I was doing to make that needed phone call. I remember the way I rushed my husband out the door so that I would have more time, only to kick myself when I could not remember if I kissed him goodbye. There are a lot of choices I make each day. Some choices are big and some are small, but somehow they all tend to make me trudge through the feelings of what I should have or could have done differently.
I want to be the best wife, mom and friend ever, but I often fall short of my own expectations. I have good intentions to be gentle with my children, adore my husband and encourage my friends, but there are days that all I feel like doing is eating brownies and drinking Dr. Pepper.
Guilt sets in and I recluse to a lonely place wondering how things would be different if I would have said this, or done that.
Thankfully, I am learning to let go of guilt. Here are a few things to do if you find yourself replaying the slide show of what you should have done differently:
God freely offers it and yet we have such a hard time giving it to ourselves.
My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. II Corinthians 12:9(ESV)
God set the example in Genesis, yet our culture is so rushed and busy.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28(ESV)
3. Stop over-analyzing everything.
I often leave a conversation, and hours later come up with the perfect thing I should have said. I feel like I missed my opportunity. Rather than beat myself up and let guilt invade, I am learning to ask for wisdom in the moment. God promises to give it. It is not my job to come up with words on a whim.
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5(NASB)
4. If you need forgiveness, ask for it.
It is not always easy to go to my child that I was harsh with and say I’m sorry, but the result is priceless. Telling my husband I was wrong is a major hit to my pride, but when I do, our relationship grows stronger. There is a time to seek forgiveness in order to be released from guilt. Be willing to admit when it truly is your fault.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. I John 1:9(ESV)
If you feel like you could have done better or should have said it differently, it is time to let it go. There is a place and time to “fix” problems, but many times the problem is simply guilt. Allow yourself to be free – free to accept grace, free to rest, free to hear from God’s source of wisdom and free to be forgiven.
If you will join me in letting guilt go and resting in God’s grace this week please LIKE, SHARE, and COMMENT so others can join us in guilt-free living.
Love & Blessings,
Micah
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