I pull the covers back over my head and take a deep breath. So many things to do and so many errands to run, but the desire to get moving has escaped me. I wonder if God is going to show up for me. I nuzzle back into the comfortable place on the bed and wait for the alarm to buzz. I close my eyes and as soon as my body relaxes, buzz, buzz, buzz. I reach for the phone only moving my arm and feel for the snooze button until the sound stops and I relax again. 

I never wanted to hit snooze, but somehow this was the new routine. Reaching for the snooze button was so familiar, so normal, so natural for me. 

When I realize the snooze isn’t stopping and I must get up and get ready, I make my way to the bathroom, the kitchen for coffee and then the living room to read. I take out my Bible and open to the next chapter. 

God, Are You Going to Show Up for Me?

Sometimes the words reach beyond my mind and touch my heart so deeply. Other times I stare at the pages and wander aimlessly in my daydreams about what I need to do. 

At one moment I’m completely in tune with God and it seems I can feel His breath on my face. Other times, I can’t even get past the sound of the dishwasher, the creak of the floor, or the way the cold leather sofa feels on my legs. Oh how distracted I can be. 

On this day as I read, I can hear Him and I ask, “Lord, what’s the difference?” Why do you speak so loudly some days and other days I can’t seem to tap into your presence or get an answer for the things my soul desires. 

“It’s not me, it’s you, Micah.”

“What do you mean, Lord? I’m here at the same time every day and yet sometimes it feels like you don’t show up.”

And then I read these words:

 “Cease from thine own wisdom.” Proverbs 23:4

My own wisdom. Sometimes I’m so focused on receiving a message from the Lord that I am looking for that aha moment, the writing on the wall, or the gut wrenching conviction, that I miss the beauty of the entire message of God. 

I realized on this particular morning that every word of His word is for me. It’s not that I need to find the one verse that will fix me or get to my heart, it’s that I need to digest the words I read and find God there in the midst of them regardless of what I’m reading. 

In my own wisdom, I often search for the three point outline, the verse that fits my situation, and the “word” that seems to be reserved for me, but God tells me today, “It’s all for you and it’s all from Me.” 

All of it. Every word. I need it. It’s true. It’s encouraging and it’s wisdom. 

When I walk in my own wisdom into the word, I’m failing to see God for who He is. I begin to make Him what I want Him to be and I miss what He has for me. 

I’ve read this verse a hundred times, “Cease from thine own wisdom,” but it’s as if I’ve never seen it before. My wisdom, any degree that I merely possess isn’t mine at all. It’s His. Yet I try to claim it as mine and take hold of it like I own it. I don’t it. He gives it, he provides it. He gives me the inspiration, the encouragement, the words, and the wisdom. 

When the alarm goes off and I reach for the snooze in my own foolish thinking pulling the covers up over my head and ask, “God, are you going to show up for me?” I prove my foolish need again. Wisdom is found when I reach for the word. When I digest the word – every part – and let His message to form me. Wisdom isn’t only found when I see something in the word, or get a three point outline. Wisdom is the life and breath of the Bible. It drips off the pages and it’s up to us to catch it. We must be ready to receive. 

If our hearts are hard and cold and tired and we do not reach for the word, we will never find the wisdom. We will walk in our own way and think we are wise. Wisdom isn’t me learning more about God, wisdom is me learning to listen to God in every moment. When I hear Him say, get up, I must.

The next time I pull my covers over my head, I might not get it right again, but I will think about it. I will think about my choice to choose wisdom or walk in my own. 

I’ll have good days when I get it somewhat right and I’ll have other days when I make the biggest mess of who I am, but all along, God says, “Cease from thine own wisdom.” 

And then He is there offering pages of words for me to get lost in and learn of Him in. Who He is compels me to open the Bible again each day. What about you?

Love & Blessings,